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Even the "hippest" brand is run by a bunch of middle-aged marketing executives pretending they're cool 16-year-olds -- as though "cool 16-year-olds" are even a thing that exists. Nothing is more cringeworthy than a detergent ad telling you to "dab" out chocolate stains while a CGI cat does a Fortnite dance. Well, almost nothing ...

6
Xfinity Just Discovered Memes, And You Will Regret It 

Xfinity has learned what memes are, and boy are they excited.

That's a 15-second clip of two grown human beings who once dreamt of serious acting careers droning "Yaaaaaaaaas" at each other while very clearly dying inside.

XfinityCan something feel centuries outdated if it came out in May?

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At least someone at Xfinity had the forethought to disable the YouTube comments. Want to see if you have the fortitude to suffer through another one? You brave soul.

The couple is playing one of those classic racing games that require you to repeatedly mash one button. Then the victorious woman calls her husband / boyfriend / fellow pod person a "n00b!" As people do all of the time in genuine face to face conversation. And then this happens:

XfinityWhat, were you too proud of your disheveled apartment set to use the solid background?

The man responds by declaring, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" and leaving the scene on a hoverboard, hopefully to find a better life. Or at least a better commercial. Certainly a better company -- though the bar for that is obviously quite low.

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Related: 8 Attempts To Stay Hip By Brands (Who Aren't Fooling Anyone)

5
A Soccer Team Awkwardly Introduced Their New Player With Fortnite

Imagine you're the middling French soccer team Nantes FC, and you would very much like for the world to pay attention to your hot new signing. What do you do? Why, you use footage from the megahit game Fortnite, which kids play in order to avoid sports.

The promo begins with a squad of two players in black and yellow jerseys, alongside what looks like John Wick after he got really into making his own kombucha.

Epic GamesYou know all those pickaxes are gonna be a red card.

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